I am a recovering perfectionist. I grew up in a house where the carpet tracks had to be straight, and then once perfected you didn’t walk on the carpet. We learned to walk on the edges and tip toe… and this made so much sense to me that I took it into adulthood and tried to keep the same level of vacuum track quality at my house. Thankfully and painfully, my husband, three kids and a handful of animals have taught me just how ridiculous this concept of perfect vacuumed tracks really is and I have learned to let it go. (Although fresh carpet tracks even for three minutes make me smile.)
The carpet tracks are just one of the many areas of perfectionism I have managed to deal with. I grew up with a dad I could never please, which made me always feel like I was never “good enough,” leaving me constantly striving for perfection.
We now live on Pruk Ranch, but before that I had a pretty subdivision home that I kept meticulously clean; even with three little baby tornados crawling and running around people were always amazed. When we moved to Pruk Ranch, our gorgeous old dairy barn turned into a house on nineteen acres, and I realized dirt just found its way in from everywhere. Over the past two years I have learned to embrace the dirt. It’s natural, it’s organic, it’s life.
Life isn’t perfect. People aren’t perfect. I am not perfect. And that is actually ok!
Once I was able to embrace imperfection I was able to see life from a whole new perspective. Before, I wouldn’t want people over because the house wasn’t clean or decorated, and then when it was prepared for people to come over I didn’t want them there because they were going to make a mess. It doesn’t make a lot of sense writing that down, but that’s how my brain thought.
I heard a great analogy once about a barn. A farmer bought this beautiful red, shiny barn, but then it wasn’t really a barn without animals, he thought, so he added a horse, pig, chicken, donkey, goat, cow and some cats. Now he felt content with his barn. He had the smells of the barn and it produced all the wonderful things barn animals produced, but it was no longer clean and beautiful. Instead it was stinky, messy and loud! This is like our lives and homes sometimes. We want them perfect, shiny and clean, but nothing is produced out of that. What we really need is people! We need people in our lives and in our home. We need people who aren’t perfect who bring their messes in. We need people who find comfort, safety and the love of Jesus inside our homes.
When we moved onto Pruk Ranch it came with two sets of neighbors. Pruk Kids and I decided to make “hello” cookies one day and deliver them. One neighbor was home and accepted our cookies kindly; the other we left on the porch with a note. We knew our neighbors in the neighborhoods we came from previously but never did more than wave to them from our cars. Everyone was always too busy and about their own lives. I didn’t expect much from our note and was just trying to be nice. That evening we got a call from them thanking us and inviting us by to say hello. These neighbors have taught me so much about loving people. They had us in and fed us that night like we had been family for years. They have grown to become family and are there for us if we need them. We share food recipes and even enjoy each other’s company. My neighbors have not only been amazing to us but I have watched people come and go from all around the world to stay and visit and be loved on by them! It has inspired me to be better; to love with open doors despite dirt and messes; to put aside vacuum tracks and inconveniences and just be a welcoming place for people.
Putting people first has changed my life! I love having people over. I enjoy the noise, laughter and sometimes tears. I look forward to the lives that I have the ability to impact and love on. Before we get so caught up in our clean white floors and our shiny counters, just picture the potential of people before perfection being loved and embrace. I promise you the joy of all the laughter will brighten your day!
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