It's OK to not be OK

I'm the person that wants everything to be perfect. I want the house to be clean, the vacuum tracks straight, the kids dressed well without stains and matching, the dog bathed and brushed; no mess. As we all know, this is NOT REALITY! Life comes with messes. Kids come with messes. A friend of ours started driving the kids around in his car and he was amazed at the mess that is always left behind. It is impossible to have kids and not have messes. Let's take it one step further; it's not just kids in life, it's LIFE! Life is messy. Even the best lives, that have gorgeous Florida and Michigan homes and lots of money can have messy lives. (yes I am talking about me here)

Life is amazing. Things are so good, everything seems to be wonderful and then there are things you can't control. Health issues arise. These past two years have been filled with health issues; really too many to list. Three out of the five of us have seen doctors both medical and natural. Visit after visit, prayer after prayer some problems just aren't fixed, solved or healed...yet.

The past two years I have a done 'good job' at looking OK, keeping the mess hidden, staying in that role of leadership and positivity. For many reasons I believe it has been wise, but in some ways I believe sharing that struggle allows others to relate, to connect, to understand, to pray and see the hope. I have also had SEVERAL miracles, wins and blessings; all which have been missed because I didn't share the valleys. We all need to be vulnerable, to show people the mess, to be ok not being ok. Now in no way am I giving license to go spew your problems on everyone you come in contact with; no one likes a negative Nancy. What I am saying, is allow yourself to be REAL!

This morning I was listening to a podcast about Hannah. She was real! She didn't hold back in her time of struggle and disappointment. She was unable to have children and her heart was broken. She was being reminded of her prayers not being answered, even to the point of being taunted by Peninnah who did have children. (hurtful)

1 Samuel 1:11 - Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord.

She didn't hold back. There are times when we need to be "ok not being ok" and it's ok to do that with God. It's ok to cry out to Him and tell Him our feelings, frustrations and hurts. The words used above, 'deep anguish' and 'crying bitterly'...I've been there. I'm even there today. Thankfully, so is God. He's right there listening to all my cries. What's even better, is He can handle them! He even says in 1 Peter 5:7 - Cast all your anxiety about on Him because He cares for you.

I leave you with this beautiful song today, I encourage you to go search for it and take a listen.

YOU ARE

by: LifeChurch

When I feel lost in the dark

And all of these fears surround my heart

I know You see me, I feel You’re with me Jesus

You are

When I am caught in the lies

And I cannot see the other side

Still You are near me You’re never failing

Jesus, You are

Oh, even in the unknown

Oh, I know that You are good

Oh, even in the waiting

You are good, You are good

Jesus, You are

When it seems like the road is long

Help me to sing just one more song

You are my healer You are the answer

Jesus, You are

Yes, You are

Oh, even in the unknown

Oh, I know that You are good

Oh, even in the waiting

You are good, You are good

Oh, even in the unknown

Oh, I know that You are good

Oh, even in the waiting

You are good, You are good

Jesus, You are

Remember, He is good, Jesus is always good! It's just a waiting season, it's not a wasted season.

If you keep reading 1 Samuel and the story of Hannah, after she cried out to God, she didn't lose faith! She didn't give up and get mad. She didn't sit and wallow in her season of disappointment. 1 Samuel 1:19a, "the entire family got up early the next morning and went to worship the Lord once more."

What do we do in the waiting season, we worship. I encourage you, be ok with not being ok and give it to God (He can take it!) then worship and wait because He is good. He was good to Hannah, she got her son, he answered her prayers and He will answer mine and yours too. What are you waiting for God to answer? I'd love to agree with you and add it to my prayer journal.