Today I had to make a hard decision. Today I had to choose long term over now; I had to think BIG PICTURE instead of tomorrow; I had to choose wisdom over desire.
As many of you have been aware I have been pretty quiet on social media and even life in the past 6 months.
Life doesn't alway go as planned and doesn't always deal the hand you want. September I came down with some digestive symptoms that got progressively worse and didn't get diagnosed until end of December. On top of these nagging symptoms I had re-injured my back (no idea how) in September and had to repeat my spinal decompression therapy because I could barely walk again. Thankfully my back has been pain free since October but I have been dealing with digestive issues daily. December did bring answers and a diagnoses that helped me find wisdom in supplements, allergy tests, diet changes, medicines and life change (REST!).
The last 6 weeks have been the complete opposite of what I am used to. I ask for help, I say "no" to many things, I rest a lot, and I discovered I'm not Wonder Woman (gasp!); I can't do it all.
I have also learned a lot of valuable lessons about rest. I realized my worth is not in "what I do" but "who and who's I am." I'm finding new hobbies (the gym hasn't been an option in months) and I'm learning to focus on what's most important - my relationship with God, Ian, my kids & family and taking care of myself.
I'm reminded that God is GOOD no matter what the situation; He is always close, always speaking, always comforting. I'm also learning to find real, true peace. Peace in the storm, peace in the annoying, peace in the pain, peace in the unfavorable moments....true peace.
A great quote from the church we found to attend here in Florida:
"You worship whatever you think is absolutely necessary to have a happy life."
Today I decided not to go on our Primerica trip to Punta Cana with Ian. Team RELENTLESS will have the most winners we have ever won (So proud of them), I miss everyone from home like crazy and want to see them, and it will be Valentine's Day while Ian's gone and I stay back....but I found peace. I want to go, I'm devastated not to go and have fun and hear Ian speak and do all the great things I know will be amazing....but I am learning WISDOM...PEACE...choosing total recovery and healing instead of doing what the "old Jessica" would do - go go go - push push push.
Here is to peace and wisdom and total health and recovery!
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